So before I start I want to say I have a level headed teen who does well in school. For that i am eternally grateful. This blog is a way to share a little venting and frustration.
I am currently in hell week. The week before our dance recital. For those of you who know me, I have 3 girls in dance (not competition). Every year around this time is our year end recital, which is both exciting and stressful.
Exciting for seeing how much my girls have learned this year, but stressful for getting them to photos, rehearsals, fitting their costumes and of course adding all the other everyday stuff.
Tonight this was our photo schedule. My Sarah had photos at 3:30 (she finished school at 2:30, but my other girls finished at 3:30, so she was responsible to get herself there) 7pm 8pm and 9:15. My Meagan had hers at 6 pm.
So I get a call from Sarah saying she left her body suit and tights at home and could I bring them. Simple task right? Not so much. If you have ever seen hoarders this is her room. She started explaining where I would find these items.
Seeing as she has told me to find the items, I use this opportunity to tidy up a bit. As I look for the body suit I fill Two black garbage bags with clothes and Two garbage bags with well garbage. Garbage being really garbage (paper, gift bags, empty wrappers, price tags, plastic wrappers). In the closet I find hanging up in a hand made dance bag full of mold, an empty coke can and lots and lots of what I can only describe as some sort of food. Beside that another plastic bag hanging on a hanger full of half eaten food. All of it so gross we had to put the garbage bag outside sealed tightly immediately. Now I am furious. I have one big rule in this house which I have repeatedly enforced and that is ABSOLUTELY NO FOOD in your bedroom.
So now I am furious. She is 16 1/2 and still leaves food in her room. This is the point I decide that I am not paying for the photos tonight that will be a $45 savings to me.
Fine I make it to the studio with my 8 year old, get her settled and inform the 16 year old that I am not paying for the photos. She actually gave me attitude and denied that she put the food there. When I leave I tell her that I am leaving and if she stays she has to take the bus home. She grabs her stuff and comes home with me.
So we are home. I never completely finished cleaning her room. In fact I left one of the garbage bags in the middle of the floor and about 2 more bags of clothes on the floor. She appears to decide to clean up by dusting. However she really didn't.
Instead she has told her friends and boyfriend that I have flipped out on her, and she has called her dad but he isn't home. Well one she knows why I am mad, I made it clear. I even said to her at the dance studio "do I make myself clear!" Her response was "Yes you make yourself clear". Two she has her dads cell phone and can get a hold of him wherever he is, oh and she isn't really talking to him right now)
So now I am sitting her feeling horrible. I am angry at her, but she is still a child, but then again, she also needs to be accountable for her actions. I am fearful that when she grows up she will never talk to me ( maybe this is because I no longer have anything to do with my own mother), but I am not trying to be her friend.
So where does that leave me now. Well I have 3 more kids behind her. 2 of them girls ( heaven help me). I love all my children and couldn't imagine life without them. Being a parent means you have to do things that make you feel like you are ripping your heart out. Taking things away like the Internet. Taking things away that you know will make them sad, but in the end is harder on you.
Being a parent sucks somedays. It makes you cry, it makes you insane.
But then there are those days, where your teen who you want to throttle goes out and helps a lady get her car our of the snow, that make you know you are doing your job.
In the end I am not creating a friend. I am helping mold a person. One who respects people. One who is helpful, polite (to everyone but me). One who will grow out of being the selfish teen who the world revolves around, to an adult.
The journey sucks. I will tell you that now. I do not regret a day in my life. If I had it to do over again I totally would. I truly do have a fabulous young lady forming. However that awful moody teenager keeps showing up.
